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About Deviant RayeFemale/United Kingdom Recent Activity
Deviant for 11 Years
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Statistics 68 Deviations 7,031 Comments 35,491 Pageviews
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Newest Deviations

Korra Cosplay - By the beach by Divinity-bliss Korra Cosplay - By the beach :icondivinity-bliss:Divinity-bliss 7 7 Korra Cosplay by Divinity-bliss Korra Cosplay :icondivinity-bliss:Divinity-bliss 7 11 Chasing the Shiny by Divinity-bliss Chasing the Shiny :icondivinity-bliss:Divinity-bliss 6 0 Touch Up by Divinity-bliss Touch Up :icondivinity-bliss:Divinity-bliss 1 1 WIP by Divinity-bliss WIP :icondivinity-bliss:Divinity-bliss 1 9 Angry Cats by Divinity-bliss Angry Cats :icondivinity-bliss:Divinity-bliss 19 10 BEEEEEEEEEEFFF by Divinity-bliss BEEEEEEEEEEFFF :icondivinity-bliss:Divinity-bliss 8 8 This is my pizza face by Divinity-bliss This is my pizza face :icondivinity-bliss:Divinity-bliss 3 9 brohoof anyone by Divinity-bliss brohoof anyone :icondivinity-bliss:Divinity-bliss 4 15 Sanvich is srs bsns by Divinity-bliss Sanvich is srs bsns :icondivinity-bliss:Divinity-bliss 5 3 Don't hate on mah raptorness by Divinity-bliss Don't hate on mah raptorness :icondivinity-bliss:Divinity-bliss 10 7 Background Practice by Divinity-bliss Background Practice :icondivinity-bliss:Divinity-bliss 4 10 Request from Bloodgod250 by Divinity-bliss Request from Bloodgod250 :icondivinity-bliss:Divinity-bliss 1 3 Im Amurikan Mah Gewd Ser by Divinity-bliss Im Amurikan Mah Gewd Ser :icondivinity-bliss:Divinity-bliss 6 15 Apocalyptic Justice by Divinity-bliss Apocalyptic Justice :icondivinity-bliss:Divinity-bliss 2 0 Because we heart you by Divinity-bliss Because we heart you :icondivinity-bliss:Divinity-bliss 6 2

Favourites

Goatdad Sewing Tutorial Part 2 by lishlitz Goatdad Sewing Tutorial Part 2 :iconlishlitz:lishlitz 287 22 Digital Painting  Wrinkles and Drapery Tutorial by robertmarzullo Digital Painting Wrinkles and Drapery Tutorial :iconrobertmarzullo:robertmarzullo 9 0 Lips - Tutorial 2# by Kipichuu Lips - Tutorial 2# :iconkipichuu:Kipichuu 848 4 Hair Tutorial - Part 2 by Packwood Hair Tutorial - Part 2 :iconpackwood:Packwood 1,448 37 Head's from an angle pt 1 tutorial. by Suzanne-Helmigh Head's from an angle pt 1 tutorial. :iconsuzanne-helmigh:Suzanne-Helmigh 1,734 66 High Angle Applied to Heads - Quick guide by SirWendigo High Angle Applied to Heads - Quick guide :iconsirwendigo:SirWendigo 1,926 43
Journal
Why I don't knit for profit
So, people wonder why I don't knit items to sell. There is a lot that goes into each item that I make, and two of the biggest things for me is time/money.
For example, I recently finished a cardigan that I've been working on for about a month. Keep in mind, this is off and on and at times only doing a few rows when I was working on it any given day. And at least one week out of the month I was working on it, I didn't do any work on it.
So we'll say, took me maybe about one week total to actually knit this item.
Now we'll look at what my time is worth.
I've been knitting for approximately 7 years. During that time, my skills have improved and I have learned a multitude of techniques on my own time at my own expense. This means buying the tools, buying various books/patterns, and extensive amounts of time spent on youtube/online learning how to do these various techniques.
If I am making an item for somebody, that is also time that I will never get back. That is time taking me away from
:iconNerds-and-Corsets:Nerds-and-Corsets
:iconnerds-and-corsets:Nerds-and-Corsets 2 2
Simple form break down abs by FUNKYMONKEY1945 Simple form break down abs :iconfunkymonkey1945:FUNKYMONKEY1945 471 4 some simple form breakdowns by FUNKYMONKEY1945 some simple form breakdowns :iconfunkymonkey1945:FUNKYMONKEY1945 426 5 simple form breakdown abs2 by FUNKYMONKEY1945 simple form breakdown abs2 :iconfunkymonkey1945:FUNKYMONKEY1945 587 7 Form Notes Part 2 by FUNKYMONKEY1945 Form Notes Part 2 :iconfunkymonkey1945:FUNKYMONKEY1945 139 2 Leg Hip Notes P3 by FUNKYMONKEY1945 Leg Hip Notes P3 :iconfunkymonkey1945:FUNKYMONKEY1945 566 14 Map of Uptown by MiloWinter Map of Uptown :iconmilowinter:MiloWinter 2 0 Building the Human Foot by NemoNova Building the Human Foot :iconnemonova:NemoNova 1,269 18 Lower Leg Construction Notes: details we forget by NemoNova Lower Leg Construction Notes: details we forget :iconnemonova:NemoNova 1,271 16

Activity


I’ve been uming and ahhing about this for some time now because this is probably going to be the most difficult thing to “confess”

It's blatantly obvious I have't been active for years. But there has been a good reason. You see, I’m facing a bully.

This bully has been following me for years disguising themselves as a friend. I never noticed, as it happened so gradually. At first, it was comforting, welcoming, and even the things this bully had me do made sense.

Then the bully became more demanding. Became more aggressive. The bully began to take over my life in ways I cannot even begin to describe to you.  The bully made me feel scared. This bully made me feel shame, and made me responsible for everything wrong. It made me feel like I was wrong all the time. This bully made me feel like I’m always making mistakes, and my mistakes will bring harms to others. And eventually the bully made me lose control of my life.

I’m ready to face the fears I’ve been dodging for years. I’m ready to tell you what this bully is.

This bully is OCD.

I have recently been diagnosed with it and it’s a beast of a mental illness to beat. Many people will immediately think about what TV tells us what OCD is, and to some, that is true. But OCD is much more than that. It’s an unrelenting voice in your head that tells you that you will bring harms to your loved ones because you are foolish/stupid/careless. It turns your biggest fears about you and invites intrusive thoughts to the opposite and it plays it over, and over, and over in your head until you have to do some compulsion to get relief. It is a bully because it doesn’t stop, it targets you and your insecurities and the fear, the intimidation, the danger, it makes you think it’s real.

It is a bully because it makes you lose your sense of self, it makes you thik the worst in yourself because if you don’t do your compulsions you are a bad person and will bring harm to yourself and others.

For me? I have rumination OCD with a bit of checking OCD. I have once got trapped in a vicious cycle of checking for electrical that could ‘catch the house on fire’ for two hours. And when I left I nearly kicked my husband because I was convinced if I didn’t check one, or two more times I will kill our neighbours and my dogs, even if I didn’t use an appliance that day.  

But because we had such a distorted idea of what this bully was, I have been suffering and gone undiagnosed with OCD for all my young adult life until recently because after a massive breakdown I went to therapy, 4th time in just two years and this time, my therapist was an OCD specialist who noticed just a small detail I said and asked the right questions. After some time and working with this therapist for some time I got the diagnosis that has plagued me my whole life, but only in the last two years got so bad I was barely a functioning person.

It’s easy to miss. Depression, anxiety, terrible situations; all that can mask OCD for a long, long time so it is so easy to miss and I have exactly that; I’m diagnosed with depression, GAD,  but I have been working with therapists and my GP. I’m on antidepressants that finally after months of trial and error are working. And I’m slowly getting back to “normal”.

The reason I am openly talking about this, it’s because there is still a bit of a stigma around OCD and misinterpretations which can lead a lot of people going undiagnosed and without proper help. It’s absolutely hell going through this. And it’s brutal when you don’t know why you think the way you do. It’s absolutely lonely and soul destroying. But with the right diagnosis and the right treatment, it slowly begins to make sense, and the pieces fall into place and you can find that one day you will be whole again.

I’ve been in pieces my entire life, but even though I’m 30, I know it’s not too late to put the pieces back together. If this can reach anyone else, or can make anyone feel like maybe there is hope, then talking about it would be worth it.

Feel free to ask me questions. It’s hard to know where to start when you don’t really know where to.
  • Drinking: Coffee

deviantID

Divinity-bliss
Raye
United Kingdom
Wha... wait.... WHO ARE YOU AND HOW DID I GET HERE?!
Interests

Comments


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:iconrb9:
RB9 Featured By Owner May 23, 2016  Professional Digital Artist
What's up^^
and nice cosplay^^
Reply
:iconnerds-and-corsets:
Nerds-and-Corsets Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2015
Thank you so much for the fave and the watch!
Reply
:iconrhazzazor:
Rhazzazor Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2015
Ha! Found you! Also, you have mail on FA
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:iconlolo27234:
lolo27234 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
happy birthday
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:icondivinity-bliss:
Divinity-bliss Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014
thank you :)
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:iconlolo27234:
lolo27234 Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
np friend 
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:iconarkus0:
Arkus0 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You got some nice comics and your character is delightfully crazy ^^
Reply
:icondivinity-bliss:
Divinity-bliss Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014
Thank you! I try to emulate my crazy in comic form ;)
Reply
:iconromandrommylightyear:
RomanDrommyLightyear Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Howdy!)
Reply
:icondivinity-bliss:
Divinity-bliss Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013
Y HALO THAR
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